he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
