before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
