Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
