Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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