Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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