absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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