I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
