After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
