hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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