I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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