Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
