how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
