Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
