Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
