The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
