Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
its liver damage thursday
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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