This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
