All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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