I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
