ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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