Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
