woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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