And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
