epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What drink are we having for lunch?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
