WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
