I hope mine doesn't look like that
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
