so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
