whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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