But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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