If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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