hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
