so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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