i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
birth control should be required to get into college
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
