Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
do herpes really smell.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
