can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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