he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
