We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
