I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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