that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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