dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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