Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
