just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
