Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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