SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
