How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
