A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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