dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
