very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
