He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it hurts more in the daytime
I wish you could order shots online.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
A+ Viking dick
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
