Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
